Just Ask Them if He Likes You- Dating Advice and Feminism

I recently assigned an advice article for another website I write for. It was entitled “Is He Into You?” and it was easy to write but hard to read afterwards. It was easy because even though I’m not so great with guys  I have been inundated with stereotypical relationship advice for the entirety of my adolescence and adulthood- I know all the rules by heart. On the other hand it was hard to write because I am not only a feminist who believes that we need to break out of gender roles,but also a very outspoken girl who favors being proactive. The signs I wrote about in my article were all about seeing what a guy does,his body language, his actions and not talking about what it is that you do. I  stole some ideas from there as well as from this hilariously illustrated wikiHow about how to know if a guy likes you.

I thought it was ridiculous and foolish. But the worst part of it was, I didn’t really know an exact place to go for feminist dating advice was except the vague direction of “the internet” or “maybe a book”.   I thought that my favorite relationship advice book “He’s Just Not that Into You”  should still be the gold standard for my views on dating. The book is essentially about  relying on men initiating romantic encounters and constantly gauging their level of interest in order to get your relationship off the ground. Which is basically bullshit the harder you stare at it. So I set out to find better feminist dating advice and I found lots of good stuff. Fear not friends, I will share the wealth: 

Feminist Dating: A wordpress blog with contributions from feminists of all backgrounds. They share their personal dating experiences and ideas. The blog is body positive and LGBTQA positive as well.

The Hairpin: Their column Ask a Queer Chick, Ask a Dude, and other various “asks” are interesting, helpful, and often hilarious. (My favorite quirky Ask column is “Ask a Three-Year-Old”) They have realistic tips on real life relationship problems and are never judgmental. (they also pointed me in the direction of another great advice maven, “Ask a Real Live Lady”‘s Lauren Bans over at GQ)

Captain Awkward: My all time favorite one stop shop advice site. She covers romantic relationships, family problems, mental illness, social anxiety, feminism, and general using your words behavior.

Ms. Blog XOJanefeministe, and bitch magazine all have dating advice that is solid as well.

Oh and this book from the executive editor of feministing.com about dating as a modern feminist young person looks amazing.

And of course, last but not least,  this website, feminspire.com. There are so many cool ladies on here with life experience and  great advice to learn from, it’s incredible.

So go forth and get that good advice!


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